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 Funny Stargate stuff 
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MINDFVCK

Pridružen/a: sri 08 tra, 2009 6:22 pm
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Post Re: Funny Stargate stuff
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Op op...

Why is SG1 better than Atlantis?
They had MACGYVER
LASTED 10 SEASONS.
Had a texan for a base commander not some little whining bitch who calls his dog his baby.
One word Teal'c.
Didn't have that slimey son of a slug Todd double crossing them every damned season.
Actually defeated their main enemy in their show's run infact they defeated 3 Atlantis only beat 1 which Stargate had already defeated.
Defeated evil Ancients in their toilet bowl ships.
Teal'c doesn't need a pansy peashooter like Ronon's to kill people. He uses his hands.
Daniel could fight and he was a nerd yet Rodney couldn't shoot a giant barn.
Like Janeway, Carter has more hair than all the ship captains combined.
O'Neill had the knowledge of the ancients, Sheppard was a fucking Kirk imposter.
Teal'c had a golden symbol ON HIS FOREHEAD.
O'Neill has had sex, Sheppard was raped by some royal fag.
Had full frontal lady in pilot with HUGE honkers. Atlantis had an arrow in Rodneys ass.
Had coolest baddies with glowing eyes not some green skinned fucks with vaginas in their palmsmakes.
Walter gets his ass kicked all the time and still hasn't quit. Half of the Atlantis season 1 team quits at the end of the season.
Those lady greenskin fucks never tried to rape O'neill via being paralyzed yet Sheppard has.
SGC had like a million guards at the gate. Atlantis only had like 2..
SGC has a UAV and missiles it can shoot through the gate, to deep fry goa'uld on the other side.
Earth and O'Neill and his team actually fought worthwhile battles.
SG1 HAD HUMOUR. The best Atlantis humour had where the greenskinned vagina palmed fucks which people would fantasise about.
In SG1 they showed bathrooms, none were showed in Atlantis; they probably just use a bucket and throw it over.
Nudity was frequent in SG1 with the Asgard refusing to wear pants.
O'neill doesn't take a fucking season to contact home.
No matter how many times Daniel is killed he is brought back to life. Beckett just copied the bastard.
People can walk in the SGC and know where they are, in Atlantis half of this giant floating gay village is still unexplored.
Teal'c had a catchphrase, Ronon had girly locks.
Atlantis's scientists are not hot...Carter is out of playboy.
Vagina's in palms, need I say more,
Gou'ald ships had shields.....Wraith had none.
Girls don't try to hit on/Rape O'neill at every oppurtunity.
Had a sexy alien who raped Jackson, Rodney never got any action from any aliens.
Weir never yelled "Yeeehaaa" in full Texan Draw.

Why is SGU better than the rest of the Stargate?
MOAR sex in SGU.
Ronon never made a flamethrower.
Sheppard never punched his lead scientist.
Has a sex reference in every episode, even has hawt drunken girls.
Interracial lesbians.


Why is Atlantis better than SG1?
Ronon's hair is a sex symbol; O'Neill's is likely a toupee.
Sheppard is a colonel is his 30s! O'Neill became a colonel in his 45-50s. pfft... Sucker...
Its first episode's main title song was "Under the Sea" which kicked ass.
Had an even sexier girl in Atlantis not a dumb fuck blonde.
Atlantis had cool CGI ships- not the paper mache ones that SG-1 had.
Mckay blew up a solar system! Carter just blew up all her lovers... the ungrateful bitch.
Sheppard is a chick magnet while Teal'c is an assasinator magnet.
Rodney never got sodomized by creepy Egyptian weirdos, unlike Jackson.
Did Cheyenne mountain ever fly into hyperspace? No? Didn't think so.
When SG-1 makes problems, they fix them. When Sheppard does, he tells everyone to go fuck themselves, live with it, and asks them to come back to his kribb.
Sheppard is sarcastic, sly and non-caring, even in the most life threatening of times.
Ronon can be like spiderman hanging from the roof of the Daedalus killing every one of those green skinned vagina palmed fucks.
Ford took drugs. Jonas was gay and pissed off his entire planet (hmm... it could go either way there).
With Whales nearby there is free sushi for all, why else do you think the Japanese joined the expedition.
Mckay took more drugs then Arnold Scwarzenegger and Russell Crowe combined, yet he didn't have addiction problems afterward.
Racism is non existant apart from Russia being excluded from the expedition due to SG-1 giving them a warship and the Russians couldn't take care of it for even 5 minutes(although it might be due to the controls being american). So yeah, thats SG-1's fault.
Sheppard's hair.
They live in a city on water- what else could you want?
You have beer in Atlantis, not pisswater like the SGC.
Fought off 10 Hives at once. SG-1 could barely handle 2 motherships.
No Lucien Alliance (who the hell are they anyway?).
They had mini ships that could fire spinning squid-shaped light bulbs that destroyed hive ships with 2-3hits. Prometheus never came close to destroying a mothership
Everyone in Pegasus spoke perfect English. No need for Daniel Jackson here
WAAAAAAAAAAAAY better opening title sequence
Did the Wraith ever have silly names like B'alls'suk Ro'nar or you'suk? Nope. I mean seriously what gay names
Not to mention Yu. No, not 'you,' I mean Yu- no not you either I mean Yu... no, no, no! Yu- ah for god's sake I don't mean you either! The guy's name is Yu.....what a bloody pathetic pun.

:rotfl:


uto 10 kol, 2010 10:39 am
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Pridružen/a: pon 26 sij, 2009 7:16 pm
Postovi: 7805
Spol: Ženski
Naj Serija: TNG
Naj Film: First Contact
Post Re: Funny Stargate stuff
Stargate Galactica

Image

Colonel John Sheppard (XO)
President Samantha Carter
Admiral Jack O'Neill (CO)
Major Teal'c (CAG)
Dr. Rodney McKay
Lieutenant Vala Mal Doran (Viper Pilot)
Captain Daniel Jackson (Tactical Officer)
Lieutenant Teyla Emmagan (Raptor Pilot)
Cylon Elizabeth Weir




:biggrinlove:

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pon 16 kol, 2010 4:29 pm
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MINDFVCK

Pridružen/a: sri 08 tra, 2009 6:22 pm
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Post Re: Funny Stargate stuff
Hmmm...

Zašto je Stargate bolji od Battlestar Galactice? Ovo nije kopirano, ovo je nusproizvod mog uma

- BSG ima 4 sezone. SG ima 16 i još se snima.

- u BSGu, čovječanstvo bježi pred istrebljenjem. U SG, čovječanstvo kicka assove zlim alienima. U tri galaksije. I još na drugom kraju svemira. I to sa mitraljezima.

- sve SG serije imaju zakon uvodnu špicu sa dinamičnom (SGA, SG1) ili minimalističkom dark ambient glazbom (SGU). BSG ima neku usranu hindu molitvu.

- BSG protivnici su čovjekoliki strojevi koji imaju robote. Al uništi tog robota i on je gotov. Jedni od SG protivnika su čovjekoliki strojevi koji imaju robotolike kukce. Uništi tog kukca, on se opet složi natrag. Žilavo malo đubre.

- u SG imamo stalno golotinju sa Asgardima koji hodaju goli.

- SG ima daaleeeekooo više zgodnih komada. Muških il ženskih, svejedno.

- u BSG, čovječanstvo se moli bogovima. U SG, čovječanstvo rastura te bogove, uništi im brodove, i još im se ceri u facu.

- u BSGu nema nijednog lika sa smislom za humor.

- BSG konvoj putuje svemirom i ne naleti ni na jednu civilizaciju. SG ide kroz Vrata i svako malo naleti na ljude. Ljudi su posvuda.

- u jednoj sezoni SGU-a ima više seksa nego u sve 4 sezone BSGa.

- SG bad guysi Goa'uldi se reinkarniraju u sarkofagu. Izađu van čisti i uredni. BSG bad guysi Cylonci se reinkarniraju u kadi punoj sluzi. Fuj.

- Baltar nema pojma o znanosti. Rodney McKay ga ne bi ni pogledao.

- Baltar nema pojma o religiji. Goa'uldi, Oriji i Wraithi bi ga pojeli.

- u SG, ljudi komuniciraju voki-tokijima, onim malim antenama u ušima, vidovitim kamenjem, mijenjanjem tijela i čime već ne... U BSG ljudi komuniciraju telefonom. Sa kabelom. Mislim ono...

Dalje nastavite sami...


sub 04 ruj, 2010 10:04 pm
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mindfrelling bloodsucker
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Pridružen/a: sri 07 svi, 2008 8:02 pm
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Lokacija: preselila kod Trapa u Dorne :D
Naj Serija: TNG
Naj Film: First Contact
Opis Stanja: manipulative and psychotic
Post Re: Funny Stargate stuff
:lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

ajme miki, zakon :thumbs2:

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sub 04 ruj, 2010 10:06 pm
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Pridružen/a: pon 13 lis, 2008 12:48 pm
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Naj Film: ST: IV
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Post Re: Funny Stargate stuff
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čet 23 ruj, 2010 6:17 pm
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MINDFVCK

Pridružen/a: sri 08 tra, 2009 6:22 pm
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Post Re: Funny Stargate stuff
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čet 20 sij, 2011 8:32 pm
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