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Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Evil Kirk? How can you tell?

I hurt my arm at work two days ago. I was changing a quantum thermomagnetic core in one of the warp chambers and it slipped and pinned my forearm. The magnetic core was active and was strongly attracted to the deck, so it really crushed the hell out of my arm. I screamed for a while, then I guess I passed out. Next thing I know, I'm in sick bay trying to get a look at nurse Chapel's cleavage. McCoy fixed me up pretty good. Kirk calls him "Bones", so we refer to him privately as "Boner", but really, he's a nice old guy.

Anyway, I just got out of sick bay and it sounds like I missed all the fun yesterday. Something weird happened to the transporter and it ended up creating an evil version of Captain Jerk. Apparently it took several hours to figure this out because, well, how could you tell? He was egotistical, spiteful, lecherous and downright mean. So you can imagine how bad the evil version must have been. Anyway, they fixed the problem by running Jerk back through the transporter and crossing him with a pig or something - at least that's what the other guys in Engineering told me.